Adoption Issues, Problems, Criticism

May 1, 2007 by sachinskg

Family heritage

There has been much controversy on the subject of keeping the adopted child aware of his heritage and birth family and country. While some feel it is very important to the child to know his background, there are others that feel it makes the adjustment more difficult. Being fully open and honest with the child is becoming more and more common in adoptions. Lack of honesty to the child can cause emotional issues and issues of trust in the future.

This is even truer in international adoptions where there are different cultures, traditions and use of language. The adoptive parents try to mingle the child’s previous life in with his new life so he or she has a feeling of belonging and knowing both worlds. In some cases, there is contact with the birth mother. Placing a child up for adoption can be traumatic for the birth mother, so contact is allowed for the sake of the mother and child. There are mixed feelings on this issue as well, with many feeling that this makes the transition all the more difficult for the adopted child. A problem may arise for the adopted child if contact is allowed but the birth mother chooses not to maintain contact.

Knowing the child’s background can be detrimental for the child’s future as far as knowing his heritage, medical background, and family life in general. While some adoptive mothers will allow the child to keep their birth name, some countries require it.

Child abuse, child neglect

The rate of child abuse and neglect is much higher for adopted children than children living with their birth families with the majority coming from the United States, United Kingdom and Canada. It is no surprise than that the rate for premature death is drastically higher for adopted children. The incidents of abuse are no more significant from one parent or the other, but rather from both mother and father.

Many of the adopted children or those available for adoption suffer from a condition known as “attachment disorder” which results when children suffer from behavior disorders due to mistreatment or abuse at a young age. This is based on the theory that the bond, or lack of, that develops between a baby and its mother will affect him or her for years to come. According to statistics from the National Adoption Center, over 50% of children available for adoption suffer from this disorder. Many adopted children suffer from “primal wound”, which psychotherapist Nancy Verrier states is the feeling of total loss and emptiness that a child feels after being given up by his natural mother… a feeling, she states, the child will always carry with him.

The result of the abuse suffered, whether it is physical, sexual or psychological is long lasting problems for the adopted children. They are at high risk of having psychological and psychiatric problems as well as trauma-attachment problems. Trauma attachment is described as when a child is abused or neglected by one or both of their parents (or other main caregiver) and as a result, the child is so traumatized that he or she suffers socially, mentally and psychologically. Other results of trauma attachment are depression, anxiety, misbehavior, aggression or regression.

Many of the children eventually suffer from Complex post-traumatic stress disorder, a disorder resulting from prolonged periods of physical abuse, emotional or mental abuse and neglect. Some of the symptoms, which are treated only through years of therapy, are:

Persistent sadness or depression
Anger, either aggressive or sometimes regressed
Nightmares and the inability to put the trauma out of their mind
Feeling guilty or ashamed
Dissociation
Difficulty is showing emotion

Adoption vs. schools

In addition to the many adjustments the adopted child has to make, the school is yet another place where issues about heritage may arise. There is much being said in schools today regarding family trees and teaching children about genes and “where they come from”. To the average child, this can be fun and interesting. They enjoy finding out why there eyes are blue or where they get their other traits from. However, to the adopted child that may not know these answers, it can be very stressful and painful. Many argue that this is a form of discrimination the same as sex, gender, race or disability. Here is where the controversy arises regarding the right of the child to know his background and heritage. It has always been a debate as to what is in the best interest of the child.

Adoptions vs. media

Experts in the field of adoption feel that the media has not been fair when reporting about adoption. Either the stories are horror stories telling about abuse, neglect, child trafficking or they go the opposite way making it seem “too good to be true”. They feel there has not been an average true-to-life story about a child being adopted and having a completely normal life. Many adoptable children have been left in orphanages, they believe, because of the stories told by the media. They otherwise may have been adopted and had the chance at a good family life. When they reach the age of 18, the chance of being adopted into a loving nurturing family has passed. According to a recent study in 2004, the number has doubled to approximately half-million a year of the children in foster care with hopes of adoption.

Adoptions in the wake of natural disasters

There have always been offers to adopt a child after world tragedies such as wars, hurricanes, earthquakes and other disasters. While the generosity and compassion is heartrending and appreciated, research has shown that perhaps it isn’t the best idea to adopt children at this particular time. Being adopted and moving into a new home and family is an adjustment in itself for the child. To have to go through this adjustment along with the trauma of the disaster and possible loss of natural parents may prove too be too much for a young child to deal with. Orphaned child are also at high risk of being targets of child slavery, trafficking or worse immediately after the disaster. Although most of the time following these tragedies, the natural parents are deceased and the child is orphaned, there are many times the parents survive and resurface later only to have to search for their child. This proves to be extremely hard on the child having to adjust to a new family only to find out their parents are still alive.

Adoption reform

Nancy Verrier and Florence Fischer have both been strong advocates for improving the conditions of voluntary adoption and favor having the adoptions “open” as well as having the records open should the family wish to be reunited. Although only small percentages to date have attempted to find their birth parents, many feel that the records should be at their disposal if they choose to search. There are organizations that allow birth parents and adopted children to unseal the records and search for each other. Many countries (Ireland, United Kingdom) have such organizations and adoption reunion registries such as the International Soundex Reunion Registry in the United States. In Ireland, the registry is advertised in the media along with literature given to each household. It encourages children over the age or 18 and parents to attempt to locate each other by whatever means they wish (email, mail, telephone or in person).

Adoption vs. Adoptism

Although adoption is considered an honorable action by most, many still look at adoption in a negative light and have strong feelings (aka adoptism) against it. Their feelings are based on the thoughts that:

The mere act of adopting a child and bringing them into your home does not make it a “real family”.
If having a child by birth is possible, adoption should not be an option.
If a mother is unable or unwilling to raise her own children, there are better options available than adoption.
Adoption is almost considered the “last resort” in making a family complete.

Adoptism is most prevalent in homosexual or bisexual relationships seeking to adopt and the case of interracial adoptions. While a large majority say they are not bigoted, their feelings are definite regarding adoptions.

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